Quiet Love
Finding lifelines in unexpected places.
One of my earliest childhood memories is when we brought home our first family dog. I had recently started Kindergarten, and my mom took me to visit a bunch of miniature poodle puppies. Behind the excessive gated barriers, in a sea of black, there he was. The gold one. Something instinctively pulled me towards him, the odd one out. A feeling I’d become personally familiar with for many years on.
As I held him in my tiny arms, my gaze met my mom’s — we knew he was ours and we were his. I will never forget the burst of pride and excitement I had while rolling him inside the back door of our house on my little red wagon. A noble pup sitting atop his throne of shaggy old towels. The look of surprise and delight on my brother’s face. He was the color of cheddar cheese, so naturally, we decided his name would be Cheddar.
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Dogs are one of the most special relationships we can have. Countless studies show that pets can reduce stress, anxiety and depression, improve heart health, encourage exercise and playfulness, ease loneliness, and even help children develop their social and emotional skills. Their unconditional love offers profound comfort and meaning.
Our chocolate-ish lab turned six this month. Otto, more commonly known as Bubbles, Bubbies, Buggies, Yawn Tierson, Joe Bitin’, Mama’s Rosemary’s Baby, Bugbug, Otter, Mr. Mystery, Buca Di Beppo, Sir Bubs-A-Lot, Bugga, Bobo, Michael, Michael Bub-Lé, Freak On A Leash, Bumbum, Bumbershoot, or Buggagump.
The list goes on.
Sometimes I wonder where I’d be without him. I cried before we ever even brought him home, the thought of Otto not being with us forever too much to bear. He has never been an “easy” dog — he requires two pills every twelve hours for his epilepsy, has regular traumatic seizures, social anxiety, seasonal allergies and so on. But there is nothing more healing for me than rubbing his velvety ears or smooching his gray, whisker-filled jowls. He is very fortunate that both of his parents primarily work from home, enjoying endless cuddles in my lap while I type away on the computer, or following my heels to the bathroom and laying on my feet while I use the toilet. His happiness for his daily walks is palpable. He can hear a banana being peeled from a room away. I love how he leans his butt on you when he wants attention. Or the way he brings his favorite toy to all of our visitors (his most-loved toy has an uncomfortable resemblance to a dildo, lol).
His love has brought me immense peace, purpose and patience over the last several years. My favorite time of day is just before bed; the same scenario playing out nearly every evening. Dan lets him outside one last time while I get under layers of blankets. Otto eventually makes his way back inside, the slow pitter-patter of feet echoing against the cold floor to our bedroom. He jumps up onto the end of our bed, on Dan’s side, and curls into a ball. Dan gently asks him to move so he can get in too. Otto reluctantly and carefully gets up, walks over to me, and positions himself perfectly into the crevice of my “big spoon.” Every. single. night.
Heaven.
It’s impossible to not be bogged down by the weight of the world these days. The heaviness, horror and darkness of war; of precious, innocent lives lost. In an attempt to invite in a brief lightness, I recently asked Instagram friends to share a favorite thing about their dogs — past or present — and the responses were so heartwarming:
How he always knows when I’m not doing well.
His zoomies when I get home — there’s nothing like it!
His warm body against mine.
Hearing his collar jingle in the morning.
How much she lets me smoosh my face on hers throughout the day — an instant stress reliever!
He is totally unbothered and the biggest potato.
Her truly unconditional love.
His unique personality — he’s sassy, intelligent, needy, funny and so loving.
How he licks my hand (just once) before eating, as if he’s saying thanks for feeding him.
My dog is just like me — loves a blanket, avoiding the sun and a good shoulder massage.
He squeaks when he yawns and groans when I wake him up in the morning.
Anytime someone in the family cries, he will jump in their lap and lick their tears.
The purity of her love.
The way she looks at me and smiles from excitement when I get home.
When he picks up a bone and it looks like he’s smoking a big cigar.
How she is completely herself with us at home — no one else sees her true nature, and I think it’s so special to create a trusting relationship like that, even with your dog.
Being able to understand each other without saying a word.
Hold your people, and your pets, tightly today.
Love,
Elise
NOTEWORTHY
—A dog kept escaping a shelter to sleep in a nursing home, the staff adopted him.
—Psychologists reveal that dogs often dream about their owners.
—The Dog Years Project by photographer Amanda Jones.
PLEASURE
Dog memes make me smile like nothing else right now. Here are one, two, three favorites.
For some reason, Otto howls every time we play this Max Richter record.
CONTEMPLATING
Dogs Need Understanding, Not Dominance. The concept of “gentle parenting,” but for our pups.
On Old Dogs and Maine by Elissa Altman. I keep talking about her newsletter; her words are like balm for my soul.
Why So Many Millenials Are Obsessed With Dogs. By some estimates, more than half of my generation in America has a dog.
Photo Credits: All images from Daniel Gebhart de Koekkoek’s 2022 calendar ‘doggystyle.’
This made me tear up. What a wonderful tribute to these little creatures that bring so much love to our lives and the world <3
Thank you, Elise. I loved this so much. Our dog, my dog, Bo, was my soulmate. He died four years ago on 10/9, so a few days ago. I felt your touching story and perspective so timely for how much he has been on my mind. I’m so glad your pup has you and visa versa. ❤️